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New on Netflix Instant Streaming REVIEW: Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

 	 Top 5000 Hansel & Gretel Get Baked  netflix weed horror comedyHansel & Gretel Get Baked (2013)

Director: Duane Journey
Writer: David Tillman
Starring: Lara Flynn Boyle, Molly C. Quinn, Lochlyn Munro, Michael Welch
Genre: Horror, Action, Comedy

Review: Stoner Horror has been around for a long time, maybe. I'm guessing it has because it feels like it's been around forever; like they were around during the days of opaque projectors. Despite being a fan of horror films I've never watched this particular sect of the genre, and I'm glad this was the first.

Hansel & Gretel Get Baked stands out with its comically bad performances and unevenness, but these are not bad things. Things like its credit music, absurd camera angles, and the fact it's made by Tribeca Films, aka American Express Studios only make the 86 minute run time all the better.

None of the characters, despite perhaps Octavio's (hereby known as Thug #2) transformation into a sheepish man-child, are likable in any capacity. The titular characters are both self-involved losers who dress like idiots. Lara Flynn Boyle (hereby known as The Witch) turns in a performance so brain-meltingly awful your pants will likely shit themselves before you have the chance.

BUT IT GETS BETTER FUCK!!! The murders perpetrated by The Witch are and will be unique and refreshing to even the light horror fan. Most all of the creativity used was in the way characters die which pays off for a film that lives or dies by its irreverence. This one is a stand-out sleeper film as long as you can take your movies with whimsy. I would absolutely recommend H&GGB.

Favorite line: "Maybe if I whistle you can follow the sound?" - Thug #2, spoken like a lamb mewing to his mother.

Favorite moment: Lara Flynn Boyle getting slapped in the face.

Rogue observation: Reynaldo Gallegos kills it as Carlos.


New on Netflix Instant Streaming: June 2013, Part 3

You are witnessing a rare event, a third New on Netflix Instant post in one months time. Check out Part 1 and Part 2 for other new Instant Streaming options!
the avengers marvel on netflix poster cover

The Avengers (2012)

Director: Joss Whedon
Writer: Joss Whedon, Zak Penn
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evens, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Cobie Smulders, Chris Hemsworth
Genre: Action, Adventure, Superhero, Marvel

Why You Should Watch It: The Avengers brings together Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor and Captain America to take on the alien brother of Thor, Loki. It is the perfect mix of action, laughs and great plot line. It's no wonder it has broken many Box Office records and made over 1.5 BILLION dollars world-wide. I couldn't even fit all of the stars of the movie into the area above, but believe me, even if you live under a rock, there will be an actor you recognize and love in this movie. Maybe even two.

super poster indie superhero movie

Super (2011)

Director: James Gunn
Writer: James Gunn
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page, Liv Tyler, Kevin Bacon
Genre: Action, Comedy, Drama, Indie, Superhero

Why You Should Watch It: When an asshole Kevin Bacon "steals" a weak man's wife, he finally takes life into his own hands. He becomes a "superhero" who takes out people ranging from drug dealers to line cutters. When he gets to deep in with the KB chacter who is a high level drug dealer type person he teams up with a young girl (Ellen Page). It's as weird, odd, and awkward as you would imagine a depressing indie superhero movie would be. If "superhero indie", "Rainn Wilson", "Ellen Page" do anything for you, you'll like this interesting, sometimes shockingly violent flick.



Rob Delaney stand up special live at bowery ballroom

Rob Delaney: Live At the Bowery Ballroom (2012)

Director: Rob Delaney?
Writer: Rob Delaney
Starring: Rob Delaney
Genre: Stand Up Special
NR, Most likely heavy language.

Why You Should Watch It:
Any cool kid can quote at least one Rob Delaney tweet. It's easy. Sadly, not all the cool kids are familiar with his stand-up. With that said, Netflix recently released Mr. Delaney's self-promoted comedy special, Live at the Bowery Ballroom, and I was there to analyze it in 140 characters (or less).

- Coolest cover for a comedy special, ever.
- It's the same bawdy, offensive guy you'll find on Twitter but with more shame.
- Material feels one-dimensional, using the same few jumping-off points about aging and familial relations throughout.
- The tangential material had me laughing a lot harder than the prepared material did.
- He seems to be still working himself out on stage as his timing suffers at some points.
- Delaney is great with a crowd.

'Live at the Bowery Ballroom' is great to watch alone with scotch and unresolved issues or a significant other you're no longer in love with. It's not REALLY funny, but it's worth the watch if you've ever tried to tweet a joke to your friends.

This has been written by Phaethon Holder.


american wedding dvd cover movie pie

American Wedding (2003)

Director: Jesse Dylan
Writer: Adam Herz
Starring: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, January Jones, Eugene Levy
Genre: Comedy, Romance

Why You Should Watch It: It would be silly to say this movie comes close to being as good as the first American Pie but it is the last American Pie movie made that is worth watching. (Note: I never saw Reunion.) The genius of these movies is they released the movies to correspond when the the target demo would be at these parts in their life. Part 2: Being home for the summer during college. Wedding: Being the first of your friends to get married. And, I assume Reunion came out about 10 years after the first...who has time for quick research? Anyway, American Wedding follows the wedding of the main character, played by Jason Biggs (aka. the pie fucker) and his nerdy flute masturbating red head girlfriend. Things go wrong, predictably and humorously and the characters are their same old selves. Worth a watch if you liked the others, or if you 22-33 and like Hollywood interpretations of weddings.

reggie watts why shit so crazy cover  fro

Reggie Watts: Why Shit So Crazy?!

Director: Duncan Skiles
Writer: Reggie Watts, Tommy Smith
Starring: Reggie Watts, Other people.
Genre: Comedy, TV Movie? Stand Up Special?

Why You Should Watch It: I really enjoyed this hour long stand-up special from Reggie Watts. You should watch this if...

  • You like alternative comedy
  • You watch [Adult Swim]
  • You like people you are creative and talented when it comes to beats and music
  • You like the comedy makings of Tim and Eric


the fall poster bbc on netflix

The Fall (2013)

Creator: Allan Cubitt
Starring: Gillian Anderson, Jamie Dornan, Niamh McGrady
Genre: Thriller, Drama
Episodes: 5 Episodes (1 Seasons)

Why You Should Watch It: I'm currently watching this, so here are some thoughts not so well thought out. Only 5 episodes, at about an hour a piece; not a huge time suck. Very slow beginning that doesn't make sense but the plot lines converge and we find out who the creepy ass killer is in the first episode. Takes place in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Characters have some sweet accents, which is nice. It's basically an Law and Order: SVU episode if it was drawn out for 5 hours, had no Ice T, and took place in Belfast. Basically, it's better in almost every way possible. If you like cop drama, thrillers you'll enjoy this. Watch it already!

I ended up finishing this in one night, my life is riveting, so that most say something positive about the show. I feel they could have grown some of the characters better and been deeper meaning in their actions. There is one point where Gillian Anderson (left, the cop) is talking over the motives and type of person the killer is while they show him in montage, it's a little over the top but over all the show was well done.

flypaper dvd cover poster heist netflix movie

Flypaper (2011)

Director: Rob Minkoff
Writer: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore
Starring: Patrick Dempsey, Ashley Judd, Tim Blake Nelson, Mekhi Phifer, Matt Ryan, Jeffrey Tambor
Genre: Comedy, Crime

Why You Should Watch It: Watching this tonight or tomorrow or whenever I watch it. Will provide useful comments then. Until then I'm guessing it's a semi-romance/comedy/crime movie that is playful and fun while having limited amounts of thriller-ness and action. It most likely ends on a slew of twists and turns.

Update: I watched Flypaper. The romance was minimal, but I was right on with the comedy and crime parts. It tries to be cute and funny, but it is neither. I wouldn't even recommend watching it, so please ignore the fact that this section is titled, "Why You Should Watch It".




New on Netflix Instant Streaming: June 2013, Part 2

There have been quite a few quality adds to the Netflix Instant Streaming Database in June 2013, other than what I mentioned here. Take a look and happy watching! Part 3 for the month of June is now here!

I was sad to see South Park go, and I'm fairly bitter about it. I always used it as a go-to background noise show. High reply-ability and funny. Can't ask for much else.

planet of the apes poster cover

Plant of the Apes (1968)

Director: Franklin J. Schaffner
Writer: Michael Wilson, Rod Serling, Pierre Boulle
Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter
Genre: Adventure, Mystery, Sci-Fi

Why You Should Watch It:

I feel the return of this classic to Netflix Instant Streaming so close to the episode of Mad Men when Don takes Bobby to see this in the theater is no coincidence. (I even had an HILARIOUS tweet referencing this.) After seeing that episode of MM, it had upped my wanting to watch this 1968 quintessential Sci-Fi flick. I was not disappointed. Despite it's sometimes dialogue free scenes and awful “fight” scenes it was genuinely captivating and moved at a fairly quick pace (almost 2 hours long!). Even you “damn kids” could enjoy this movie if you put aside your preconceptions on what makes a good movie. Pop some popcorn, gather the kids, pour some drinks and enjoy this upside-down civilization.

chasing ice documentary poster

Chasing Ice (2012)

Director: Jeff Orlowski
Writer: Mark Monroe
Starring: James Balog, Svavar Jonatansson, Adam LeWinter
Genre: Documentary, British

Why You Should Watch It: If you don't believe Climate Change is real, or think humans have no effect on it speeding up, do two things. First, watch this documentary about a photographer who takes some stunning and beautiful images/time lapse videos of glaciers. Second read this. 97% OF THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE FIELD.




mystrey men movie dvd cover

Mystery Men (1999)

Director: Kinka Usher
Writer: Neil Cuthbert, Bob Burden
Starring: Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, William H. Macy
Genre: Comedy, Action, Fantasy

Why You Should Watch It:

I never saw this during my childhood, which was a shame because I probably would appreciate it more now if I had. It's not a terrible movie and it has it's funny parts but I wouldn't consider it in the same realm as other 90's comedies like Ace Ventura, Tommy Boy, Liar Liar, etc. It's certainly worth a watch if you never saw it, or if you did view it as a youngin' but haven't watched it since. B-B-B-B-Bonus: The cast is stacked with WHM, Ben Still (people close to him call him that...people like me), Hank Azaria, and Kel Mitchell.


Continue reading “New on Netflix Instant Streaming: June 2013, Part 2” »


New on Netflix Instant Streaming: June 2013

Here are some new movies on Netflix Instant Streaming from May/June 2013. Give them a watch!

New on Netflix Instant Streaming: June 2013 Part 2

Part 3 is now here!

dictator movie poster dvd sacha baron cohen

The Dictator (2012)

Director: Larry Charles
Writer: Sacha Baron Cohen, Alec Berg, David Mandel, Jeff Schaffer
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ben Kingsley, Anna Faris, Jason Mantzoukas (from How Did This Get Made)
Genre: Comedy, Drama, High School

Why You Should Watch It: While the Dictator isn't Sacha Baron Cohen's best effort as an outrageous character it is still worth a watch. If you hated any of his previous characters, Ali G, Borat, etc. I wouldn't bother with this one, but if you enjoyed that cringe-worthy comedy you'll enjoy this.




end of watch cop movie dvd cover poster

End of Watch (2012)

Director: David Ayer
Writer: David Ayer
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Pena, Anna Kendrick
Genre: Crime, Drama, Action

Why You Should Watch It: I have not yet watched this movie but it has a solid 85% over at Rotten Tomatoes. If you're into crime dramas, that most likely have lots of shooting, swearing and terrible people doing terrible things, this is right up your barrel. Get it?

Update: My parents and sister watched this movie. Sister and dad enjoyed the movie. Mother did not like it. Take that as you will.




Continue reading “New on Netflix Instant Streaming: June 2013” »


New on Netflix Instant Streaming: Adult Swim Shows, April 2013

It's been a few months since I've done a New on Netflix post. I took a slight hiatus from posting and the new content had left me mostly uninspired. With the addition of many Adult Swim and Cartoon Network shows I decided the time was right to get back in the game, as it were.

Here are the new Adult Swim shows now on Netflix Instant Streaming. I haven't seen them all but leave my thoughts anyways.


childrens hospital poster adult swim

Childrens Hospital (2008)

Creator: Rob Corddry
Starring: Rob Corddry, Rob Huebel, Megan Mullally, Erinn Hayes, Ken Marino, Michael Cera, Henry Winkler, And many more
Genre: Comedy, Hospital, "Drama"
Episodes: 17 Episodes (2 Seasons)

Why You Should Watch It:







Robot Chicken Adult SwimRobot Chicken (2005)

Creator: Mike Fasolo, Seth Green, Matthew Senreich
Starring: Seth Green, Breckin Meyer, Matthew Senreich
Genre: Comedy, Sketch, Stop-motion Animation
Episodes: 20 Episodes (1 Season)

Why You Should Watch It:







Aqua Teen Hungry Force Adult SwimAqua Teen Hunger Force (2000)

Creator: Matt Maiellaro, Dave Willis
Starring: Dave Willis, Carey Means, Dana Snyder
Genre: Comedy, Animation, Adventure
Episodes: 18 Episodes (1 Season)

Why You Should Watch It:







The Venture Bros Adult SwimThe Venutre Bros. (2003)

Creator: Christopher McCulloch
Starring: Christopher McCulloch, James Urbaniak, Michael Sinterniklaas, Patrick Warburton, Doc Hammer
Genre: Action, Adventure, Animation
Episodes: 14 Episodes (1 Season)

Why You Should Watch It:






metaloclypse adult swimMetalocalypse (2006)

Creator: Tommy Blacha, Brendon Small
Starring: Tommy Blacha, Brendon Small, Mark Hamill, Victor Brandt, Malcolm McDowell
Genre: Comedy, Music, Animation
Episodes: 20 Episodes (1 Season)

Why You Should Watch It:







the boondocks adult swimThe Boondocks (2005)

Creator: Aaron McGruder
Starring: Regina King, John Witherspoon, Cedric Yarbrough, Gary Anthony Williams, Jill Talley, Gabby Soleil
Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure, Animation
Episodes: 15 Episodes (1 Season)

Why You Should Watch It:







squidbillies adult swimSquidbillies (2005)

Creator: Jim Fortier, Matt Maiellaro, Dave Willis
Starring: Dave Willis, Daniel McDevitt, Unknown Hinson, Dana Snyder
Genre: Comedy, Animation, Weird
Episodes: 20 Episodes (2 Seasons)

Why You Should Watch It:







delocated adult swimDelocated (2009)

Creator: Jon Glaser
Starring: Jon Glaser, Eugene Mirman, Jacob Kogan, Steve Cirbus, Alex Ziwak, Zoe Lister Jones
Genre: Comedy
Episodes: 7 Episodes (1 Season)

Why You Should Watch It: